A MESSAGE FROM YOUR CHRISTMAS RABBIT
A NEW ERA
We bunnies have been allocated a special place in the yearly schedule and have done well in that slot. That is why we have become disturbed in the inefficiencies in the manner of operations of the person known as Santa Claus. The man has obviously passed his prime and we realized that, for the benefit of the tradition and out of pity for the elderly Father Christmas something radical had to take place. So we assumed time was ripe for an aggressive takeover. We have accomplished this with dispatch and minimum damage.
Of course, some downsizing was imperative and we have performed this carefully. Rumors of elves wandering the Arctic wastes in a daze are absolutely untrue. Most are now employed by McDonalds and Walmart at standard wages which are quite sufficient to sustain an elf. Santa himself is living comfortably ln a large cardboard carton in a safe dry area under the Brooklyn Bridge. Visitors should be forewarned that he has not yet come to appreciate the benefits of being brought into the modern era.
One of the forthcoming rewards is a sale of delicious reindeer steaks soon to be available on Ebay.
We are moving Christmas Corporate Headquarters to Australia where the bunny population is more available for management positions.
It is noteworthy that the Australian Government has indulged in rabbit genocide using biological weapons and our consensus is that it is time for a regime change. We feel secure that it is only a matter of time before a rabbit is elected as prime minister and we intend to see to it that this improvement takes place as soon as possible in the near future.
PLEASE DO HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY