You are dead. Long, long gone, I know, and yet –

Still moments prompted by a distant laugh,

Or perhaps a pause when mounting a stair,

I lose the imperative to forget

And in an instant you are there.

Then comes the fear, the hatred at your loss.

It charges, dragonlike, at my surmise.

Time shrinks. The world explodes in shrieking air

And, victim to a memory that flies

Back to that awful day you were no more,

Sorrow and regret, numbness and despair

Summon strong demons I cannot ignore.

In horrid rush again I feel the need

To be with you still. I bleed, I bleed.



5 thoughts on “Revisitation

  1. It’s an honor for me to be allowed to take part in memorizing this most horrid moment in your life, Jan. I wish I could ease your pain when the demons are haunting you. Time will come for you to find peace.


    1. I can not prescribe any remedy for the misery of a total loss. Each one of us must find a personal method for dealing with it.


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